Well I am back here at work unfortunately from a week off. Me and Meg went to Ocean City, MD for 3 days. We had a good time. Got some sun and enjoyed the Ocean.

Came home and wish I could of went back...lol.

HAHAHA........IM CHILLING WITH MY GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!! MAEROSE!!!!!!!!!

She's the shizzzittttt!!!!!!!!!!! lmao

little fucked up right now



LOOK!!!!!! I even have a happy star!! lmao

Well its Friday... Thank God...im sooooooo tired!!!!

Well "J" has been at my house now for 1 week...its nice but damn I miss having some free time to myself once in awhile...lol. He hasnt officially moved in and no Im not going to let him....lol I dont want that yet...hes too much like a big kid. Its refreshing in a way though. I dont know...i guess time will tell!

Unfortunately I have to get back on the phone because we are busy.

1 more day to go before the weekend

I had had an interesting evening last night, but it got better after. I violated my owms rules and let someone sleep over when my daughter was home. Not good, I dont regret it but I just dont want her waking up to different people in the house. He is at my house alot so I guess you can say that she is used to him somewhat. I dont know, He is kind of growing on me more and more. He has his flaws like everyone. He is good with kids, he plays with them like hes a big kid himself. He has a lisp and sometimes I cant understand him but I guess oh well, if thats the only problem that so what.

Oh well I feel good today, thats a good thing!

http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/07/21/border.tunnel/index.html

Well I feel like shit today, not in the mood to be here. Im tired and my stomach hurts.

On the good side I have officially lost 17.5 lbs. Finally, something is working!!!!!!!!!!!! I havent made it know that I was trying because if I fail I didnt want anyone to think I was a failure. I finally said screw the doctors and the meds because they arent doing shit. I am tring to manage this myself. I am eating healthier, and cut my carbs in half. Cant give up coffee though, I cut it down to 2-3 cups a day. (if you know me thats a BIG step, as I love my coffee, hot or cold!) So this is a good thing.

My new "friend" is good, he calls me daily to see how im doing. I told him he couldnt come over for a couple days, I needed some damn sleep. I was getting exhausted. Oh well!!

Everything has been good, except the fact that I have been financially challenged lately.

and of couse its FRIDAY!!

Well its been awhile since I last updated. Nothing really interesting to say.

I met a new guy last week. He is only 24, yes 5 yrs younger. But thats OK. I told him that I just wanted to be friends ( with benefits, of course) and so far we have spent just about every day together....lol. So much for just friends, well i cant say that but we seem to be enjoying each others company. He still has that young attitude, its refreshing. Im not old but I guess since I became a mother my thinking has changed. We laugh and talk. So far its been fun. I just dont want a relationship this way I wont be let down when it gets messed up. We like the way it is and we are comfortable, thats all that matters. So we have known each other 13 days and been together 11 out of the 13. Its been fun so far, lets see what happens.

YET ANOTHER PIG

what is wrong with people today

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,160628,00.html

This little article in todays paper was funny.

CONYNGHAM TWP. – A PPL worker found a cache of drugs and paraphernalia at the Council Cup Scenic Overlook Thursday morning.

According to state police in Shickshinny:

The employee found two hypodermic needles, 15 empty baggies, one bag with marijuana seeds and stems, a baggie containing a white crushed substance and a candy container with an unknown white substance inside.

Anyone wishing to claim the items can contact the state police in Shickshinny at 542-4117



Im going to hurry up right now and go claim my stuff and see how fast they lock me up...lmao

This freaking scumbag should be tortured!!!!!!!!







http://www.cnn.com/2005/LAW/06/23/lunsford.report/index.html

This is one Crazy Bitch



http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/americas/06/20/killer.release.reut/index.html

Just that word makes me cringe!!

Oh well, had a nice long, sunny weekend. Friday I went to my mom's and helped her cut the hedges and went for a swim, saturday I cleaned and got some stuff done. Went out for a change for a little while. It was ok, I guess I'm just not into the bar schene anymore. Yesterday I just Laid around in the sun and went swimming. Needless to say I got a little sunburn and it HURTS!!!!! Well we are a little busy so I'll try and write more later.

I Hate Love

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes your so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up these defenses, you build this whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life. You give them a piece of you. They don't ask for it. They do something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own any more. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just the imagination, not just the mind. It's a soul hurt, a body hurt... gets inside you and rips you apart pain.

X = Seen it
- = Seen Part of it
? = Never heard of it

1.( )Napoleon Dynamite
2.(X )Saw
3.(?)White Noise
4.(- )White Oleander
5.(X)Anger Management
6.(X)50 First Dates
7.)? )Jason X
8.(X)Scream
9.(X)Scream 2
10.(X)Scream 3
11.(X)Scary Movie
12.(X )Scary Movie 2
13.( )Scary Movie 3
14.(X)American Pie
15.(X)American Pie 2
16.(X)American Wedding
17.()Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
18.( )Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
19.( )Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
20.( )Resident Evil
21.( )Resident Evil: Apocalypse
22.(X)The Wedding Singer
23.()Little Black Book
24.( )The Village
25.(? )Donnie Darko
26.(X )Lilo & Stitch
27.(X)Finding Nemo
28.( )Finding Neverland
29.(X )Thir13en Ghosts
30.(X)Signs
31.(X)Dr. Seuss's How the Grinch Stole Christmas
32.( )The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (remake)
33.(X)White Chicks
34.(X)Butterfly Effect
35.(X)13 Going on 30
36.( )I, Robot
37.( )Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
38.( )Universal Soldier
39.( )Lemony Snicket's A Series Of Unfortunate Events
40.(X)Along Came a Spider
41.( )Deep Impact
42.( )KingPin
43.(X)Never Been Kissed
44.(X)Meet the Parents
45.(X)Meet the Fockers
46.( )Eight Crazy Nights
47.(X) A Cinderella Story
48.( )The Terminal
49.( )The Lizzie McGuire Movie
50.( )Passport to Paris
51.(X)Dumb & Dumber
52.( )Dumb & Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd
53.(X)Final Destination
54.(X)Final Destination 2
55.(X)Halloween
56.( )The Ring
57.( )The Ring 2
58.(X )Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle
59.(X)Practical Magic
60.( )Chicago
61.( )Ghost Ship
62.( )From Hell
63.(-)Hellboy
64.( )Secret Window
65.(X)I Am Sam
66.(X)The Whole Nine Yards
67.(X)The Whole Ten Yards
68.(X)The Day After Tomorrow
69.( )Child's Play
70.( )Bride of Chucky
71.(X)Ten Things I Hate About You
72.(X)Just Married
73.(X )Gothika
74.(X )A Nightmare on Elm Street
75.(X )Sixteen Candles
76.(X )Bad Boys
77.(X )Bad Boys 2
78.( )Joy Ride
79 (X)Se7en
80.(X)Ocean's Eleven
81.(X)Ocean's Twelve
82.( )Identity
83.( )Lone Star [...State of Mind? I've seen that...]
84.( )Bedazzled
85.(X)Predator
86.( )Predator II
87.(X)Independence Day
88.(X )Cujo
89.(X )A Bronx Tale
90.(X )Darkness Falls
91.( )Christine
92.(X)E.T.
93.(X)Children of the Corn
94.( )My Boss's Daughter
95.(X )Maid in Manhattan
96.( )Frailty
97.( )Best Bet
98.(X )How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
99.(X)She's All That
100.( X)Calendar Girls
101.( X)Sideways
102.( )Mars Attacks!
103.( )Event Horizon
104.(X)Ever After
105.(X)Forrest Gump
106.( )Big Trouble in Little China
107.(X)X-Men
108 (X)X-Men 2
109.( )Jeepers Creepers
110.( )Jeepers Creepers 2
111.( )Catch Me if You Can
112.( )The Others
113.(X)[(original& remake)]Freaky Friday [part of the remake]
114.( )Reign of Fire
115.(X)Cruel Intentions
116.( )P.I.
117.(X )Swimfan
118.()Miracle
119.(X)Old School
120.(X)Ray
121.( )The Notebook
122.()K-PAX
123.( )Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
124.( )Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
125.( )Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
126.(X)A Walk to Remember
127.( )Boogeyman
128.(X)Hitch
129.( )Back Door Sluts 9
130.(X)South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut
131.(X)The Fifth Element
132.(X)Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
133.(X)Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones
133 ( )Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
134.( )Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope
135.( )Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
136.( )Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
137.( )Troop Beverly Hills
138.( )Swimming with Sharks
139.(X)Trainspotting
140.( )The People Under the Stairs
141.( )Blue Velvet
142.(X)The Sound of Music
143.(X)[(original& remake)]Parent Trap
144.( )The 'Burbs
145.( )SLC Punk
146.(X)Meet Joe Black
147.(x )Wild Girls
148.(?)A Clockwork Orange
149.( )The Order
150.(X)Spiderman
151.( )Spiderman 2
152.( )Amelie
153.(X)Mean Girls
154.(X)Shrek
155.(X)Shrek 2
156.( )The Incredibles
157.(x )Collateral
158.(x )The Fast & the Furious
159.(x )2 Fast 2 Furious
160.( )Sky Captain & the World of Tomorrow
161.(x )Closer
162.(X)The Sixth Sense
163.( )A.I.: Artificial Intelligence
164.(X)Love, Actually
165.()Shutter
166.(X)Ella Enchanted
167.(X)The Princess Diaries
168.(X)The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
169.( )Constantine
170.( )Million Dollar Baby
171.( )Life of David Gale
172.( )25th hour
173.( )Vanilla Sky
174.(x)Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
175.(x)Boogie Nights
176.(X)Braveheart
177.( )The Anarchist Cook Book
178.( )My House In Umbria
179.(X)Double Jeopardy
180.(X)Monsters, Inc.
181.( ) Tank Girl



Wow Meg, I actually saw some movies that you didnt...lol

I watched are we there yet last night, I enjoyed that movie

OK So the weather is finally cooperating, I am soooo happy. I love the summer weather!!!! As soon as I can I moving to somewhere that stays like this all the time!!!! We went to Knoebels on Sunday. My mom, dad, 2 aunts, 2 of their friends and me, the kids were Caitlyn, Myya , DJ, Coty, Hailey, and Brianne. We had so much fun and my daughter had her first ride on a roller coaster. We went on 6 times. I got my first sunburn of the season too. Well thats all that has really happened to me that was exciting, so Im off for now. 14 more days until its offically summer!

ok so at the risk of sounded really bad, I have made a decision

I want to meet someone that is just a friend, that will have a child with me, and just leave our relationship as friends. All I would expect from this person is to be a father to the child. I know, I know. Crazy. Its just my daughter is and I dont want to wait until she is 10 or 11. I have a feeling that I am going to be alone the rest of my life and I want another child. Really bad.

I know my mind is gone.

* AB0UT Y0U *
y0ur namE	Debbie
agE	29
birthDay	Nov 8
siGn	Scorpio
peiRcinGs	Ears
heiGht	5'8
eyE coLor	Blue
haiR coLor	Brown
* Y0U FAV0RiTES *
coLor	Blue
m0viE	Scarface / The Color Purple
bo0k	Malcomn X
dRink	Coffee / Farmer's Ice Tea
fo0d	dont have a fav
pLace	NYC!!!
aNimaL	Dog
s0ng	too many to write here
baNd	too many to choose from
TV sh0w	ER
ceReaL	Honey Nut Cheerios
fLoweR	Lilacs
scEnt	jasmine / vanilla
* D0 Y0U *
pLay sp0rts ?	nope
pLay aN instRumeNt ?	used to play guitar
havE a ceLL ph0ne ?	Yes
havE a j0b ?	Yes
g0 t0 sch0oL ?	not anymore
likE t0 sinG ?	can't
* YES 0R N0 *
d0 y0u spEak aNy 0theR languaGes ?	no
can y0u r0LL y0ur t0unGe ?	yes
caN y0u eaT a whoLe pizzA ?	no
diD y0u eveR cRy 0veR a b0y | girL ?	yes, im human
diD y0u eveR sNeaK 0ut 0f y0ur h0use ?	yes
weRe y0u eveR iN a fisT fiGht ?	yes
diD y0u eveR bReak a b0ne ?	no
havE y0u eveR laughEd s0 haRd y0u cRied ?	yes, who hasnt?
* WHiCH 0NE *
chineSe fo0d 0r mexicaN fo0d	chinese
r0ck 0r raP	rap
pePsi 0r coKe	coke
b0y 0r girL	boy
summeR 0r winteR	SUMMER!!!!!
ch0coLate 0r vaniLLa	Chocolate
bo0k 0r maGaziNe	Book
hugs 0r kissEs	both
lo0ks 0r pers0naLity	personality
sunRise 0r suNset	sunset
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

 

What does one do when they are lost and alone. I feel lost in the middle of a forest not knowing which direction to go. My life is coasting along from day to day. I am tired of being alone, I am tired of coming home every night and sitting by myself. I want to be able to talk to someone on the phone or say hey why not come over and watch a movie. I cut all loose ends yesterday, i spoke my mind, I was tired of sitting in the back observing life as it went on and being left in the dark about what we were. I accepted things as they are and I am no longer going to keep hoping and giving in to the things he wants. I am moving on and hopefully I will find someone else, although I think I am destined to be alone. I want so badly to have a family. I have my little girl and I want so badly to give her a brother or sister. Who knows maybe someday. I am just feeling lost or depressed if you want to call it. I am tired of being sick already too. This sold is going to be the death of me yet. If people only new how to keep germs from spreading ( i am being sarcastic ). When you are in a closed space with a few hundred people, no windows, just an air conditioner circulating stale air with a bunch of germs, one is destined to get sick. I have a doctors appt on June 10th because this medication is making me sicker. I am always tired and have no energy. Its not helping with the weight either. Maybe it is but it sure as hell is not coming off fast enough. I haven't been able to eat, as everything comes back up. I wanted chinese today so I ordered some General Tso's chicken and of course got sick. I am thinking about limiting my meat intake, I think they but to many chemicals into animals now and in my opinion dose'nt help with all the disease and cancers out there. But anyway, I am hoping for a better day tomorrow as today sucks, and hopefully I will learn to accept my life as it is and stop wanting what seems to be unthinkable. People say to reach out and grasp life but the more I reach the more I am let down. Well off for now.

I am really trying to give it my best effort today to be here at work. My throat is on fire and I have no voice. I just need to stop talking for awhile!! and at this job that will not happen!!!!!!!

Well my daughters bird "Lucy" is dying. She was fine last night when I went to bed, when I went in this morning to see how she was doing, there she lay on the bottom og her cage, barely moving.

I feel sad today, not to mention that I have the cough from hell!!!!!